{"id":14950,"date":"2022-04-29T10:28:20","date_gmt":"2022-04-29T17:28:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/atheopaganism.wordpress.com\/?p=14950"},"modified":"2026-11-02T04:59:34","modified_gmt":"2026-11-02T04:59:34","slug":"guest-post-a-moon-ritual-to-dispel-imposter-syndrome-plus-added-imposter-syndrome-pt-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/guest-post-a-moon-ritual-to-dispel-imposter-syndrome-plus-added-imposter-syndrome-pt-2\/","title":{"rendered":"GUEST POST: A Moon Ritual to Dispel Imposter Syndrome (Plus: Added Imposter Syndrome!), Pt. 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A guest post by D. J. Smith<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I was going through the motions, I started to wonder if this was going to be one of those spiritual lessons<\/em> where I needed to just learn to forgive myself for being imperfect and not always having the right answers. I started working a mantra, getting into that \u201cwoe is me\u201d mindset that begets sympathy, and I distinctly remember how volatile<\/em> my reaction to that mantra was. I didn\u2019t want to be pitied, I was answers! What I felt next could best be described as \u201cPride\u201d. In some religions, Pride is shit on as a sin to be forgiven, but in my worldview, Pride is valuable when earned<\/em>. I didn\u2019t \u201close a challenge\u201d to a D&D character: my Pride was wounded, and it wanted answers; it wanted to know why I didn\u2019t do better. It\u2019s like my inner monologue was screaming, \u201cYou\u2019re a scientist for fuck\u2019s sake! Fix this!\u201d, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I closed the circle, snuffed out my candles and incense, and swore to Cerebrilith that I\u2019d be back.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next day was a Monday, and while I was busy at work, I was also carving out time to figure out what I did wrong. First things first, I re-oriented my axes in WebPlotDigitizer so that all my derived points, along the egg\u2019s curve, stayed with the domain and co-domain of the egg\u2019s dimensions. Next, I found out that Excel, a system I\u2019m much more familiar with, has built-in curve-fitting features that are MUCH easier to iterate on than the janky websites I was using before, saving me a TON of time in finding the right model. I also switched to a site specifically made for evaluating definite integrals, vs the optional features I was using in other sites. After doing this for 2-3hrs, I crunched the numbers and got my new result: 56,226mm3<\/sup>! I was within 0.14% of the algebraic model\u2019s prediction! For the kind of approximate math I\u2019m doing, I\u2019ll consider that a win! Since I was at work, I took advantage of the printers and made some cooler props for my ritual. Even though the algebraic model was technically<\/em> closer, the sensitivity of these readings was demonstrably slim, which made my approximately equal to the other, and that\u2019s all I cared about this point. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Several hours later, I set my altar back up, got dressed in my wardrobe, and tried my ritual again. This time, I had WAY more success! Part of that was because of my new-found confidence, part of it was the new music (I played the piano tune to Mili\u2019s \u201cScientific Witchery\u201d on loop), and some of it was a change in magical methodology (see example below of my \u201csecular\u201d quarters). The visualization was so-so. The sound of my landlord\u2019s ventilation was kind of distracting, so I kept jumping out of my mindscape, but what I did see was pretty cool (I remember the gray moss and dark-lit corridors; I also got a solid second of seeing the Cerebrilith bound in chains of light that resembled an egg shape). I ended the ritual my banishing Cerebrilith within the egg, taking the egg outside, burying it in the garden, beating the ever-loving fuck out of it with a shovel, and burning all of the evidence. I felt much more relieved this 2nd go-around, and I\u2019d call this ritual a (rocky) success! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Ritual Explained: Banishing Imposter Syndrome<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The following is my final rendition of the \u201cBanishing Imposter Syndrome\u201d ritual. Adapt to meet your needs as you see fit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Identify the things that causes you to feel like an imposter. For me, it was the vast availability of the internet and the diminishing need for experts. <\/li>
  2. Find something to represent your imposter demon. I chose a brain monster because math is brainy and because I envied its savage appearance. <\/li>
  3. Find something you know you can do that\u2019s related to the thing you\u2019re an imposter at, like sewing, programming, singing, etc. I chose \u201cmath\u201d because that\u2019s what I got my degree in and because I talk about it a lot. <\/li>
  4. Find a way to demonstrate your abilities, and find a different way that somebody else uses that ends in the same end-result. I chose \u201ccalculating the volume of an egg\u201d because there are several ways to verify the results and come to the same conclusion. However, I used *my* method, rather than a method I found. I gave the \u201ceasily-found\u201d method to my imposter demon.<\/li>
  5. Do the work you need to do in order to demonstrate your skill. Compare your result to the imposter\u2019s result. Verify the results with a 3rd party.<\/li>
  6. Once you\u2019ve \u201cbeaten\u201d or \u201ctied\u201d with your imposter demon, begin setting up your ritual space. Ritual garb is optional (I drew an eye on my forehead to represent my \u201cinner eye\u201d that can visualize and strategize). <\/li>
  7. Setup your altar. I included an image of my imposter demon, a \u201ctaunt\u201d from my inner criticism, a comfort item (the black pendant), the object to banish the demon into, my offering bowl (to contain the ashes), four white candles (for the four corners), one incense stick and an incense holder. <\/li>
  8. In a dark room, I begin playing \u201cwhite noise\u201d or \u201cmood-setting\u201d music. I light my candles and begin the call the quarters (see script below). I then give thanks and light the incense.<\/li>
  9. Next, I address the demon and his taunt, reading the taunt aloud.<\/li>
  10. To prep my mind for journeying, I first do something that requires a bit of visualization. In this case, I walked through the steps of a maze (see ID9) and then solved it in one go. <\/li>
  11. Once I\u2019ve done the remedial exercise, I close my eyes and begin imagining an inner landscape where the demon lurks. For me, that was a dark-lit labyrinth (think Minotaur).<\/li>
  12. Once I can see myself within the mindscape and the journey starts taking on a life of its own, I begin hunting down the imposter demon with something to contain it. I imagined myself with a ball of swirling light in my right palm, like Goku\u2019s kamehameha. <\/li>
  13. Once you\u2019ve envisioned cornering your demon, capture it in mental container. Mine was an egg-shaped cage of white light. <\/li>
  14. Using your physically mouth (if possible), say aloud \u201cI BANISH YOU DEMON!\u201d While still partially within mindscape, I also clasped my physical hand around the egg in the container. <\/li>
  15. After banishing the demon with the banishing object, I open my eyes, thank the quarters, grab the banishing object and walk outside. <\/li>
  16. From there, I destroy the the object. In my case, I buried the egg in the garden and beat the fuck out of it with my landlord\u2019s shovel while screaming \u201cI BANISH YOU!\u201d like a fucking psycho. And that concludes the ritual!<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    P.S. – For the quarters, I call the North \u201cWisdom\u201d, the East \u201cDiscernment\u201d, the South \u201cPatience\u201d, and the West \u201cPassion\u201d. Those correspondences feel much more genuine than some arbitrary elemental mapping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    The Math Explained<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    The math for the algebraic method was pretty straight-forward. If you can find the total length (represented on my egg as L+W) and the radius, you can plus those into the formula and multiply across, with V = 2\/3 * \u03c0 * r2<\/sup> * (L + W). This will give you the volume in whatever unit you measured the egg with (mm3<\/sup>, cm3<\/sup>, in3<\/sup>, etc.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My method was more complex. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    • Firstly, I took a picture of the egg with measurements clearly defined. <\/li>
    • I uploaded this image to WedPlotDigitizer, which allows me draw (X, Y) points on a plot super-imposed on the JPEG. It\u2019s important to remember that you set x1<\/sub> = 0, x2<\/sub> = length of egg, y1<\/sub> = 0, and y2<\/sub> = radius of egg. This keeps your data proportional to real-world measurements. <\/li>
    • Next, I export my data points to a .CSV file and open it in Excel. This allows me to create my plot and add a trendline (which is the polynomial we turn into a solid of revolution). It\u2019s important to note here that I split the graph into two parts: one for the first half of the egg, one for the second half, dividing it at the widest part (the radius\/ global maxima). <\/li>
    • From there, you can create a scatter plot. Within the scatter plot, right-click the blue data points, select \u201cAdd Trendline\u201d. This opens a panel where you can choose which curve-fitting method you prefer (I chose polynomial because the shape best-fit my curves). <\/li>
    • Once I got my two functions Y1<\/sub> and Y2<\/sub>, I spun them into solids of revolution (see yellow graphics below from the Wolfram Alpha). If you add the two images together, you can clearly see the egg shape.<\/li>
    • Once I\u2019m sure that the shape is accurate, I begin calculating the volumes for both of my lines (Y1<\/sub> and Y2<\/sub>). The general equation for that is:<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n
      \"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
      • You\u2019ll do this for each equation, with each having different bounds (the numbers where the lines start and stop on the X-axis. <\/li>
      • Lastly, once you\u2019ve computed your two definite integrals, add those two numbers and you\u2019ll get the total volume for the egg (V1<\/sub> + V2<\/sub> = VT<\/sub>).<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        In Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

        Overall, this was an interesting ritual, and an interesting experience! I believe this is something that can be worked on and adapted to meet other needs (particularly other personality quirks). I do believe that these kinds of issues are perennial, and that we never truly \u201cbanish\u201d the demons, but having tools available to combat the demons is a step in the positive direction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        A guest post by D. J. Smith As I was going through the motions, I started to wonder if this was going to be one of those spiritual lessons where I needed to just learn to forgive myself for being imperfect and not always having the right answers. I started working a mantra, getting into that \u201cwoe is me\u201d mindset that begets sympathy, and I distinctly remember how volatile my reaction to that mantra was. I didn\u2019t want to be pitied, I was answers! What I felt next could best be described as \u201cPride\u201d. In some religions, Pride is shit on as a sin to be forgiven, but in my worldview, Pride is valuable when earned. I didn\u2019t \u201close a challenge\u201d to a D&D character: my Pride was wounded, and it wanted answers; it wanted to know why I didn\u2019t do better. It\u2019s like my inner monologue was screaming, \u201cYou\u2019re a scientist for fuck\u2019s sake! Fix this!\u201d, and that\u2019s exactly what I did. I closed the circle, snuffed out my candles and incense, and swore to Cerebrilith that I\u2019d be back.\u00a0 The next day was a Monday, and while I was busy at work, I was also carving out time to figure out what I did wrong. First things first, I re-oriented my axes in WebPlotDigitizer so that all my derived points, along the egg\u2019s curve, stayed with the domain and co-domain of the egg\u2019s dimensions. Next, I found out that Excel, a system I\u2019m much more familiar with, has built-in curve-fitting features that are MUCH easier to iterate on than the janky websites I was using before, saving me a TON of time in finding the right model. I also switched to a site specifically made for evaluating definite integrals, vs the optional features I was using in other sites. After doing this for 2-3hrs, I crunched the numbers and got my new result: 56,226mm3! I was within 0.14% of the algebraic model\u2019s prediction! For the kind of approximate math I\u2019m doing, I\u2019ll consider that a win! Since I was at work, I took advantage of the printers and made some cooler props for my ritual. Even though the algebraic model was technically closer, the sensitivity of these readings was demonstrably slim, which made my approximately equal to the other, and that\u2019s all I cared about this point.  Several hours later, I set my altar back up, got dressed in my wardrobe, and tried my ritual again. This time, I had WAY more success! Part of that was because of my new-found confidence, part of it was the new music (I played the piano tune to Mili\u2019s \u201cScientific Witchery\u201d on loop), and some of it was a change in magical methodology (see example below of my \u201csecular\u201d quarters). The visualization was so-so. The sound of my landlord\u2019s ventilation was kind of distracting, so I kept jumping out of my mindscape, but what I did see was pretty cool (I remember the gray moss and dark-lit corridors; I also got a solid second of seeing the Cerebrilith bound in chains of light that resembled an egg shape). I ended the ritual my banishing Cerebrilith within the egg, taking the egg outside, burying it in the garden, beating the ever-loving fuck out of it with a shovel, and burning all of the evidence. I felt much more relieved this 2nd go-around, and I\u2019d call this ritual a (rocky) success!  The Ritual Explained: Banishing Imposter Syndrome The following is my final rendition of the \u201cBanishing Imposter Syndrome\u201d ritual. Adapt to meet your needs as you see fit.  Identify the things that causes you to feel like an imposter. For me, it was the vast availability of the internet and the diminishing need for experts.  Find something to represent your imposter demon. I chose a brain monster because math is brainy and because I envied its savage appearance.  Find something you know you can do that\u2019s related to the thing you\u2019re an imposter at, like sewing, programming, singing, etc. I chose \u201cmath\u201d because that\u2019s what I got my degree in and because I talk about it a lot.  Find a way to demonstrate your abilities, and find a different way that somebody else uses that ends in the same end-result. I chose \u201ccalculating the volume of an egg\u201d because there are several ways to verify the results and come to the same conclusion. However, I used *my* method, rather than a method I found. I gave the \u201ceasily-found\u201d method to my imposter demon. Do the work you need to do in order to demonstrate your skill. Compare your result to the imposter\u2019s result. Verify the results with a 3rd party. Once you\u2019ve \u201cbeaten\u201d or \u201ctied\u201d with your imposter demon, begin setting up your ritual space. Ritual garb is optional (I drew an eye on my forehead to represent my \u201cinner eye\u201d that can visualize and strategize).  Setup your altar. I included an image of my imposter demon, a \u201ctaunt\u201d from my inner criticism, a comfort item (the black pendant), the object to banish the demon into, my offering bowl (to contain the ashes), four white candles (for the four corners), one incense stick and an incense holder.  In a dark room, I begin playing \u201cwhite noise\u201d or \u201cmood-setting\u201d music. I light my candles and begin the call the quarters (see script below). I then give thanks and light the incense. Next, I address the demon and his taunt, reading the taunt aloud. To prep my mind for journeying, I first do something that requires a bit of visualization. In this case, I walked through the steps of a maze (see ID9) and then solved it in one go.  Once I\u2019ve done the remedial exercise, I close my eyes and begin imagining an inner landscape where the demon lurks. For me, that was a dark-lit labyrinth (think Minotaur). Once I can see myself within the mindscape and the journey starts taking on a life of its own, I begin hunting down the imposter demon with something to contain it. I imagined myself with a ball of swirling light in my right palm, like Goku\u2019s kamehameha.  Once you\u2019ve envisioned cornering your demon, capture it in mental container. Mine was an egg-shaped cage of white light.  Using your physically mouth (if possible), say aloud \u201cI BANISH YOU DEMON!\u201d While still partially within mindscape, I also clasped my physical hand around the egg in the container.  After banishing the demon with the banishing object, I open my eyes, thank the quarters, grab the banishing object and walk outside.  From there, I destroy the the object. In my case, I buried the egg in the garden and beat the fuck out of it with my landlord\u2019s shovel while screaming \u201cI BANISH YOU!\u201d like a fucking psycho. And that concludes the ritual! P.S. – For the quarters, I call the North \u201cWisdom\u201d, the East \u201cDiscernment\u201d, the South \u201cPatience\u201d, and the West \u201cPassion\u201d. Those correspondences feel much more genuine than some arbitrary elemental mapping. The Math Explained The math for the algebraic method was pretty straight-forward. If you can find the total length (represented on my egg as L+W) and the radius, you can plus those into the formula and multiply across, with V = 2\/3 * \u03c0 * r2 * (L + W). This will give you the volume in whatever unit you measured the egg with (mm3, cm3, in3, etc.) My method was more complex.  Firstly, I took a picture of the egg with measurements clearly defined.  I uploaded this image to WedPlotDigitizer, which allows me draw (X, Y) points on a plot super-imposed on the JPEG. It\u2019s important to remember that you set x1 = 0, x2 = length of egg, y1 = 0, and y2 = radius of egg. This keeps your data proportional to real-world measurements.  Next, I export my data points to a .CSV file and open it in Excel. This allows me to create my plot and add a trendline (which is the polynomial we turn into a solid of revolution). It\u2019s important to note here that I split the graph into two parts: one for the first half of the egg, one for the second half, dividing it at the widest part (the radius\/ global maxima).  From there, you can create a scatter plot. Within the scatter plot, right-click the blue data points, select \u201cAdd Trendline\u201d. This opens a panel where you can choose which curve-fitting method you prefer (I chose polynomial because the shape best-fit my curves).  Once I got my two functions Y1 and Y2, I spun them into solids of revolution (see yellow graphics below from the Wolfram Alpha). If you add the two images together, you can clearly see the egg shape. Once I\u2019m sure that the shape is accurate, I begin calculating the volumes for both of my lines (Y1 and Y2). The general equation for that is: You\u2019ll do this for each equation, with each having different bounds (the numbers where the lines start and stop on the X-axis.  Lastly, once you\u2019ve computed your two definite integrals, add those two numbers and you\u2019ll get the total volume for the egg (V1 + V2 = VT). In Conclusion Overall, this was an interesting ritual, and an interesting experience! I believe this is something that can be worked on and adapted to meet other needs (particularly other personality quirks). I do believe that these kinds of issues are perennial, and that we never truly \u201cbanish\u201d the demons, but having tools available to combat the demons is a step in the positive direction.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":14939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[55],"class_list":["post-14950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-practice","tag-guest-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14950","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14950"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14950\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22405,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14950\/revisions\/22405"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/14939"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14950"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14950"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mgreen.atheopaganism.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14950"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}